When I think role model, I think Heidi Montag

WARNING: very, very cruel post below.


There are so many things to love about Heidi Montag.

First off:
Secondly,
And third--
Finally...

Okay, actually maybe there's nothing at ALL to Heidi Montag. I just watched the first twenty minutes of her new (and probably only) music video for her single "Higher". If you feel like vomiting up your lunch onto your expensive laptop all for the viewing pleasure of a siliconed tart pushing her plastic boobs together (an impressive feat, as they lie about three feet away from one another), please be my guest and watch it at People.com.

But wait, it gets better! The video was directed by Spencer Pratt, Heidi Montag's ex-fiancee.

But don't get sad. Sure, they used to be engaged, but THEY JUST GO OUT NOW. It's a much better situation, because this way, they can really fulfill all the requirements of a fake relationship, which are basically just sleeping with other people. Getting married would make that more difficult.

Anyway, back to the main point at hand: Heidi Montag thinks a) she can sing and b) she is sexy, and Spencer Pratt thinks that he's Spielberg. Or, at the very least, someone who can look through a lens and focus on something other than fake tits. (Which, for the record, he fails to do. Watch the video. Props if you can get through the 40 seconds.) This pathetic pair is relentless.

A Spencer quote from their priceless Us Weekly interview in December, in which they revealed their broken engagement: "I need to accept that Heidi wants her princess wedding and that she is the boss."

Keep working at it Spencer. And while you're waiting for the big fake day, why don't you invest in some big fake balls?

Okay. I'm done.

Sorry for the God-awful post. They just are so gross.

Picture credit: Evilbeetgossip.film.com